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Re: Religious e-mails (and the evolution of the perfect snappy comeback) - split

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Faerie
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« Reply #30 on: December 10, 2009, 09:18:05 AM »

He wanna save our souls!! Praise the gods! When he arrives at the pearly gates he can state that he has PERSONALLY saved X amount of souls during his time on earth and it will guarantee him a golfcart and a virgin at his side to spend etirnity with....
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cyghost
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« Reply #31 on: December 10, 2009, 09:22:40 AM »

Waitaminute... there are golfcarts in heaven??
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GCG
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« Reply #32 on: December 10, 2009, 09:49:51 AM »

ja,and tiger woods is your personal coach, if you dont mind him walking around with a 9 iron lodged in his skull...
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Faerie
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« Reply #33 on: December 10, 2009, 10:27:22 AM »

Waitaminute... there are golfcarts in heaven??


Read it somewhere on Rapture Ready. They even discuss the clothes they'll be wearing in heaven. You want some light humour, go read here:
http://www.rr-bb.com/

It gets a bit much after a while though, take bite-size portions.  Tongue
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #34 on: December 10, 2009, 10:43:32 AM »

Quote
You want some light humour, go read here: http://www.rr-bb.com/


 WTF!!
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cyghost
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« Reply #35 on: December 10, 2009, 11:45:36 AM »

I'm not a fan of golf, but golfcarts are friggen awesome! I may have to reconsider this whole deal...

Unless I can have some assurance of the equivalent, you know, "down under".
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GCG
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« Reply #36 on: December 10, 2009, 12:27:19 PM »

down under you get strippers, drugs and sodomy.  so make sure you order lube for the afterlife.
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cyghost
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« Reply #37 on: December 10, 2009, 13:15:01 PM »

The question is whether I can barter my soul twice or not I guess. Strippers, drugs and sodomy does sound enticing but man that golfcart...
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GCG
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« Reply #38 on: December 10, 2009, 13:44:35 PM »

alas, i allready sold my virgin soul to allah back in the day.  so guess whose waiting for me when i die? 
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #39 on: December 10, 2009, 13:50:22 PM »

Beardy suicide bombers.  Grin

Edit: You know, for a culture so sensitive about issues of sex, they sure have some weird heaveanly rewards.
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cyghost
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« Reply #40 on: December 10, 2009, 13:56:14 PM »

Yeab but they don't have golfcarts...
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #41 on: December 10, 2009, 13:58:39 PM »

I wonder if you can pre-order?

http://www.blavish.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/02/Hummer%20Golf%20Cart.jpg

http://www.gadgetgrid.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/golfcartbling1.jpg
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cyghost
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« Reply #42 on: December 10, 2009, 14:06:32 PM »

Oh man, those are totally awesome!
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scrutin-eyes
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« Reply #43 on: February 20, 2010, 14:16:38 PM »

He wanna save our souls!! Praise the gods! When he arrives at the pearly gates he can state that he has PERSONALLY saved X amount of souls during his time on earth and it will guarantee him a golfcart and a virgin at his side to spend etirnity with....

Who wants a girl by his side that stays a virgin for eternity   Grin  She won't be that by the end of the day  Wink

I read that they are having a shortage of virgins in heaven with all these suicide bombings and all.  Having to have 72 of them ready for these mindless fundies almost on a daily basis, they are having a hard time to replenish the stock.  I think they said there will be a rationing system soon - most probably the more you took with you when you pushed the button, the closer you will get to 72 virgins  Wink  If they run out, I suppose they will have to take those that were slightly, but gently, used  Roll Eyes

Here is a question to Mid93: were is my soul while I am alive, were will it go when I die and were was it before I were born ? 
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« Reply #44 on: February 21, 2010, 09:59:53 AM »


I read that they are having a shortage of virgins in heaven with all these suicide bombings and all. [/quote]
You think there is a shortage now? Wait until Mr. Zuma makes his entrance. Or maybe he will go to hell.. poor sods.
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