I lol'd

<< < (211/215) > >>

BoogieMonster (October 08, 2019, 14:39:55 PM):
Tweefo (October 12, 2019, 14:29:11 PM):
I rather enjoyed this one. ;D

Two scientists, one from the Czech Republic and one from Austria, travelled to America to study the legendary grizzly bear.

When they failed to return from their first trip into the woods, two park rangers went looking for them and quickly tracked down a male and a female bear who’d been seen near the scientists’ campsite.

Their apprehension was proven justified when they euthanized the female grizzly and found the remains of the Austrian inside of her.

The first park ranger said sadly, “You know what this means…”

The second ranger said, “Yeah, the Czech is in the male.”
BoogieMonster (October 23, 2019, 09:47:28 AM):
brianvds (October 23, 2019, 10:48:06 AM):

And koalas are descended from crossing bears and guinea pigs, and kangaroos by crossing rabbits with horses, and so on. And thus the problem of enough space on the ark is solved. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, evilutionists!
BoogieMonster (October 24, 2019, 14:27:25 PM):
An atheist dies and goes to hell

The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit." They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys." The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No need to say thank you, everyone gets a nice place to live in when they come down here!"

They continue walking through the nice park, flowers everywhere, and the devil shows the atheist a garage full of beautiful cars. "These are your cars now!" and hands the man all the car keys. Again, the atheist tries to thank the devil, but he only says "Everyone down here gets some cool cars! How would you drive around without having cars?".

They walk on and the area gets even nicer. There are birds chirping, squirrels running around, kittens everywhere. They arrive at a fountain, where the most beautiful woman the atheist has ever seen sits on a bench. She looks at him and they instantly fall in love with each other. The man couldn´t be any happier. The devil says "Everyone gets to have their soulmate down here, we don´t want anyone to be lonely!"

As they walk on, the atheist notices a high fence. He peeks to the other side and is totally shocked. There are people in pools of lava, screaming in pain, while little devils run around and stab them with their tridents. Other devils are skinning people alive, heads are spiked, and many more terrible things are happening. A stench of sulfur is in the air.

Terrified, the man stumbles backwards, and asks the devil "What is going on there?" The devil just shrugs and says: "Those are the christians, I don´t know why, but they prefer it that way".


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