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PARAPROSDOKIANS

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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #15 on: June 13, 2012, 17:03:29 PM »

Quote from: Weird Al Yankovic
But I only watched "Will And Grace" one time one day
Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay
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Faerie
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« Reply #16 on: June 14, 2012, 07:46:18 AM »

I just though you all where kidding around since you all seem very knowledgeable about most subjects.

We learn something new every day.... whether we like it or not!  Cheesy
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Hermes
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« Reply #17 on: June 14, 2012, 15:22:12 PM »

I am particularly fond of the circular definitions where the meaning of a word is applied to itself, like:

•   Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
•   Reincarnation is making a comeback.
•   Being superstitious is bad luck.

In similar vein:

•   Don’t think just because you’re paranoid, they’re not out to get you.
•   Have you noticed that all the people who favour birth control are already born?
•   Meddle not in the affairs of witches, for…. ribbit? ribbit?

Some more paraprosdokians:

•   He who laughs last thinks slowest.
•   Before criticizing another man, first walk a mile in his shoes; then you’re a mile away and have his shoes.
•   A bird in the hand makes it difficult to blow your nose.
•   When the cat’s away you don’t need to clean the litter box.
•   Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
•   People only live happily ever after on a day to day basis.
•   Sex is not the answer.   Sex is the question.  The answer is yes.
•   Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
•   The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.
•   My wife and I have a perfect understanding:  I don’t try to run her life and I don’t try to run mine.
•   Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.
•   The secret of success is sincerity.  Once you can fake that, you have it made.
•   When it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it probably should stay in the oven a while longer.
•   The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
•   You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.
•   Are you going to come quietly or do I have to put in earplugs?

Most of the above were sourced from Coast to Coast backpackers’ guide.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2012, 19:09:39 PM by Hermes » Logged
Faerie
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« Reply #18 on: June 14, 2012, 15:36:50 PM »

This is sooooo true!!

Quote
You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom
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Rigil Kent
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« Reply #19 on: June 14, 2012, 17:29:44 PM »

I am particularly fond of the circular definitions where the meaning of a word is applied to itself,

Like most cancerians, I'm very skeptical about astrology.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #20 on: June 14, 2012, 18:59:03 PM »

* I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees get bigger as they approach. Then it hit me.
* Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

A geek favourite:

* The box said to install Windows 95 or better, so I installed Linux.




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Hermes
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« Reply #21 on: June 14, 2012, 19:20:35 PM »

This is sooooo true!!
Quote
You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom
I agree.  And "A bird in the hand makes it difficult to blow your nose" is equally true.  Just this afternoon I was holding my (yellow) budgie in my hand while I have a cold and I can assure you it was quite difficult. Wink
« Last Edit: June 14, 2012, 20:18:01 PM by Hermes » Logged
Mefiante
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In solidarity with rwenzori: Κοπρος φανεται


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« Reply #22 on: June 14, 2012, 22:06:11 PM »

This thread is like déjà vu all over again.

'Luthon64
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Rigil Kent
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Three men make a tiger.


« Reply #23 on: June 14, 2012, 23:11:44 PM »

Just this afternoon I was holding my (yellow) budgie in my hand while I have a cold and I can assure you it was quite difficult.

Mmmm .... budgies can be tricky. Have you tried laughing doves? They don't bite and are far more absorbent.

Rigil
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Faerie
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« Reply #24 on: June 15, 2012, 07:36:08 AM »

This thread is like déjà vu all over again.

'Luthon64

Heh! still chuckling...  Cheesy
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Mefiante
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In solidarity with rwenzori: Κοπρος φανεται


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« Reply #25 on: June 15, 2012, 09:21:38 AM »

Heh! still chuckling...  Cheesy
That was one by the inimitable Yogi Berra, IIRC.  (More here.)

'Luthon64
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Tweefo
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« Reply #26 on: June 15, 2012, 15:50:52 PM »

My wife and I have a good understanding about money. I earn it and she spend it.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #27 on: June 15, 2012, 16:02:14 PM »

Reminds me of: Ek en jy het 'n verstandhouding, ek het die verstand en jy het die houding.
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Hermes
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« Reply #28 on: June 19, 2012, 11:53:05 AM »

“Now, sometimes people always say: ‘The way he is talking, he is talking about Mangaung.’ I am not standing, I am not running for anything but I am also not running away from anything,” said Sexwale.

Then, sometimes people never say: "I want to be president.  Vote for me."
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