PARAPROSDOKIANS

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BoogieMonster (June 13, 2012, 17:03:29 PM):
Quote from: Weird Al Yankovic
But I only watched "Will And Grace" one time one day
Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay
Faerie (June 14, 2012, 07:46:18 AM):
I just though you all where kidding around since you all seem very knowledgeable about most subjects.

We learn something new every day.... whether we like it or not! :D
Hermes (June 14, 2012, 15:22:12 PM):
I am particularly fond of the circular definitions where the meaning of a word is applied to itself, like:

• Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
• Reincarnation is making a comeback.
• Being superstitious is bad luck.

In similar vein:

• Don’t think just because you’re paranoid, they’re not out to get you.
• Have you noticed that all the people who favour birth control are already born?
• Meddle not in the affairs of witches, for…. ribbit? ribbit?

Some more paraprosdokians:

• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
• Before criticizing another man, first walk a mile in his shoes; then you’re a mile away and have his shoes.
• A bird in the hand makes it difficult to blow your nose.
• When the cat’s away you don’t need to clean the litter box.
• Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
• People only live happily ever after on a day to day basis.
• Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. The answer is yes.
• Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
• The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.
• My wife and I have a perfect understanding: I don’t try to run her life and I don’t try to run mine.
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.
• The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you have it made.
• When it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it probably should stay in the oven a while longer.
• The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
• You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.
• Are you going to come quietly or do I have to put in earplugs?

Most of the above were sourced from Coast to Coast backpackers’ guide.
Faerie (June 14, 2012, 15:36:50 PM):
This is sooooo true!!

Quote
You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom
Rigil Kent (June 14, 2012, 17:29:44 PM):
I am particularly fond of the circular definitions where the meaning of a word is applied to itself,

Like most cancerians, I'm very skeptical about astrology.

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