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Some Satire....

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mdg
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« on: February 23, 2010, 12:54:39 PM »

From Haybo.com

enjoy......  Grin

Quote
JOHANNESBURG. Tenderpreneur Julius Malema says he is not a hypocrite for publicly condemning personal enrichment while allegedly privately enriching himself, saying that there is no word for 'hypocrite' in the Pedi dictionary. Meanwhile he has blamed a racist media conspiracy for his woes while ignoring the glazed gammon inside his skull.

The ANC Youth League president called a press conference on Monday to launch a broadside at his enemies, whom he revealed were whites, mine owners, journalists, white mine-owning journalists, girls who won't stay for breakfast and Weight Watchers scales.

Malema accused a conspiracy of media figures and mine owners of wanting to discredit him by publicising details of his lavish lifestyle.

However, leading doctors agree that Malema needs no help discrediting himself largely because he has a glazed festive gammon instead of a brain.

"He's actually very high-functioning for someone with honey-glazed pork for a frontal lobe," explained Dr Lobo von Sleiz. "Clearly there's just enough synaptic activity happening between the cherries and the cloves to allow him to feel certain very primitive emotions such as racist paranoia and rampant greed."

Meanwhile the allegations – that Malema has amassed assets of over R4-million thanks to lucrative government contracts – have raised questions over his past statements in which he condemned politicians who enriched themselves.

In 2008 Malema was quoted in national newspapers as saying that "people who go to the township and boast about drinking imported, expensive liquor and the German sedans they drive – this is an insult to the people".

He also previously said that "being involved in business compromises the independence of the ANCYL because every time you open your mouth, you must check if business will be happy or not".

Asked if he still stood by these statements, he said he could not remember them and added that it was "probably the booze talking".

"I had just bought a new consignment of fire-water in exchange for the birth-rights of 20 million peasants," he explained. "I was pissed from about 2007 until January this year. You can't ask me to remember what I said."

Besides, he said, it was impossible for him to be a hypocrite as there was no search word in the Pedi dictionary.

When it was put to him that other applicable names could include "pig at the trough" and "debauched betrayer of the Freedom Charter", Malema said that he had not been at school the week they did Shakespeare.

"Just because you can quote Much Ado About Romeo And Cleopatra or whatever that stupid play was called, don't think that I won't kill you metaphorically," he said.

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Faerie
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« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2010, 13:10:31 PM »

I'm never sure whether I should laugh or cry when I read anything related to Malema....
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Jane of the Jungle
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« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2010, 20:06:48 PM »

What-a-box he is  Undecided
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