Punography

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Rigil Kent (May 06, 2012, 09:29:46 AM):
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

Velcro — what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
BoogieMonster (May 06, 2012, 19:18:45 PM):
I'm a long time pun lover, Nice list!

How do you make a cleenex dance? Put a little boogie into it!
Rigil Kent (May 06, 2012, 19:29:02 PM):
An attractive lady walked into a pub and asked the bar tender for a double entendre. So he gave her one.
Faerie (May 07, 2012, 07:35:58 AM):
Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

I wanted a car but I couldnt a ford one.

The origami classes saw stationery costs increase twofold.

I was reading a book on anti gravity, I just could not put that book down.

Did you hear of the football coach trained a chicken to fly? He ended up having personal foul for excessive aviation.

Having too many vowels is a consonant struggle in the game of scrabble.

Tweefo (May 07, 2012, 10:20:15 AM):
I went to a general store but they would not sell me anything spesific.

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