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Author Topic:

Puns

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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2015, 18:16:46 PM »

Plagiarised some FB stuff:

I asked a nudist friend what he was doing this weekend. He had nothing on.

A criminal stole a calendar, he got 12 months.

I bought new running shoes, but they were a bit tekkie.

Why was the Simba Chippie negative? He was going through a dip.

As jy 'n skroewedraaier verkeerd vashou, kan dinge lelik uitdraai!

Alles in die lewe het 'n doel. Veral sokker en netbal.

Hierdie loadshedding sit my liggies af.

Box of tic-tac's for sale: Mint condition.

Sal ek 'n liedjie vir my bank skryf? Absa-lied!

As jy geld by die bank leen, dan is dit jou eie skuld.

Ek dink Spar se drankwinkel is Tops.

I knew a girl with medical aid, pension, and car insurance. She was my friend with benefits.

For my 18th my parents bought me a CAR. I don't even like magazines.

As ek by die ATM kom kry ek onttrekkingssimptome.

Elke keer as ek by KFC inloop kry ek hoendervleis!

Om taai biltong te eet is nie 'n straf nie. Dis 'n sening.

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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #16 on: August 03, 2015, 10:00:35 AM »

Driving through Dunkeld West this morning I spied 2 puns in 2 minutes.

One was this...


The other was on a blackboard the garage next-door to said Fournos usually uses to entertain drivers stuck in traffic (moi) with witty things. Sadly phone skills were lacking to catch a pic but it said:

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, and I'm finding I can't put it down".
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #17 on: November 02, 2015, 09:51:11 AM »

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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #18 on: March 24, 2016, 13:43:59 PM »

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
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brianvds
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« Reply #19 on: March 24, 2016, 14:24:57 PM »

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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #20 on: June 22, 2016, 13:12:28 PM »

Two windmills are standing in a field. After a while one breaks the silence:
Q: "So, what kind of music do you like?"
A: "I'm a big metal fan"
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #21 on: June 24, 2016, 22:04:09 PM »

Pedophilia: Now there's a touchy subject.
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Rigil Kent
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Three men make a tiger.


« Reply #22 on: August 25, 2016, 19:13:20 PM »

A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."                                                                    - Posted at Chess.com
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Mefiante
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In solidarity with rwenzori: Κοπρος φανεται


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« Reply #23 on: August 25, 2016, 19:58:48 PM »

Actually, that’s a feghoot.

'Luthon64
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brianvds
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« Reply #24 on: August 26, 2016, 06:26:53 AM »

Actually, that’s a feghoot.

'Luthon64

It's a hoot either way. :-)
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #25 on: September 08, 2016, 11:49:57 AM »

Q: Why do riot police get to work early?
A: They like to beat the crowd.
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brianvds
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« Reply #26 on: September 08, 2016, 12:03:10 PM »

Q: Why do riot police get to work early?
A: They like to beat the crowd.

And what does the riot policeman's wife cheerfully say to him when he leaves?
A: Break a leg!
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #27 on: September 22, 2016, 15:45:07 PM »

You could try to convince me how great auto-asphixiation is until you're blue in the face.
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brianvds
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« Reply #28 on: September 22, 2016, 16:37:56 PM »

You could try to convince me how great auto-asphixiation is until you're blue in the face.

And you can try to convince me to exert myself more until you're red in the face.

And that seasickness is all in the mind until you're green in the face.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #29 on: October 21, 2016, 10:37:29 AM »

This one comes with a crudeness warning. You've been warned.

(click to show/hide)
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