BoogieMonster
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« Reply #60 on: March 08, 2018, 14:16:17 PM » |
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I slept with a species from another Genus... No Homo.
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brianvds
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« Reply #61 on: March 09, 2018, 04:21:33 AM » |
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What do you call a snake that is approximately 3.141592 meters long?
- A πthon.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #62 on: March 09, 2018, 10:45:49 AM » |
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Well, I got mixed reviews last time so... proceed with caution. What’s the best thing about fingering a gypsy on her period?
You get your palm red for free.
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Rigil Kent
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Three men make a tiger.
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« Reply #64 on: March 22, 2018, 11:08:43 AM » |
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Mr Bear applies for a job as a cleaner at a pub, and is interviewed inside the establishment.
Publican: What's you name, son?
Mr Bear: I am Mr Bear. Grrrrrrr!
With that, Mr Bear bends down, takes a huge bite out of the counter, chews it up and swallows loudly.
Publican: And where do you stay?
Mr Bear: I live in the woods. Grrrr!
Publican: Do you have any cleaning experience?
Mr Bear: Yes, certainly. I worked at the carwash.
Publican: Do you have a criminal record?
Mr Bear: Of course not! Grrrr!
Publican: And do you abuse drugs, Mr Bear?
Mr Bear: Never have, never will.
Publican: Then ... what about the barbiturate?
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #65 on: March 23, 2018, 11:19:55 AM » |
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A man is sitting in an interrogation room and says:
"I'm not saying anything without my lawyer present!"
Cop: "You are a lawyer"
Lawyer: "Exactly, where's my present?"
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Rigil Kent
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Three men make a tiger.
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« Reply #66 on: March 23, 2018, 11:28:14 AM » |
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #67 on: March 23, 2018, 11:33:11 AM » |
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Steven Wright is likewise. |
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #68 on: March 26, 2018, 13:18:12 PM » |
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I used to be into BDSM, bestiality and Necrophilia, but then I noticed I'm beating a dead horse.
Edit (bonus): You can't run through a campsite. You can only "ran" because it's past tents.
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Rigil Kent
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Three men make a tiger.
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« Reply #69 on: March 28, 2018, 19:43:38 PM » |
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Not really a pun, but since we're talking about that sort of thing, here is a quote that I enjoyed some years ago.
I prefer my lovers to be female, human and alive. But in a pinch any two out of three will do.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #70 on: April 10, 2018, 14:59:10 PM » |
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What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #72 on: April 13, 2018, 10:49:31 AM » |
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Two old ladies are sitting in a park when a man in a trench coat suddenly runs up and flashes them.
One had a stroke. The other couldn't reach.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #73 on: April 18, 2018, 10:25:57 AM » |
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A lesbian couple gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I said I wanna watch.
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