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Puns

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Rigil Kent
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Three men make a tiger.


« Reply #120 on: June 08, 2019, 07:25:48 AM »

If Satan ever loses his hair, there will be hell toupee.
Huh?? Ok, that one was actually not too bad.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #121 on: June 24, 2019, 14:24:25 PM »

When I was a baby my mom would force-feed me alphabet soup.
She told everyone I loved it, but she was just putting words in my mouth.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #122 on: June 27, 2019, 10:07:18 AM »

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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #123 on: June 27, 2019, 10:11:57 AM »

My wife was in labour and started shouting "Wouldn't, couldn't, shouldn't, didn't, can't!"
The midwife re-assured me: "They're just contractions"
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« Reply #124 on: July 30, 2019, 09:57:47 AM »

I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees.
The shopkeeper carefully seperated 13 of them, put them in a bag, and handed them over.
"... and the 13th one?"
"That's a freebee".
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #125 on: August 05, 2019, 09:50:10 AM »

A cross eyed teacher recently lost her job.

She couldn't control her pupils.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #126 on: August 16, 2019, 09:59:58 AM »

I got a new job teaching English in a prison.

It's a tough job, but like always it comes with some prose and cons.
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« Reply #127 on: August 28, 2019, 13:34:34 PM »

To the person who stole my glasses...

I will find you: I have contacts.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #128 on: August 29, 2019, 15:01:25 PM »

Why do mermaids wear seashells?

B shells are too small, and D shells are too big.
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« Reply #129 on: October 02, 2019, 16:12:40 PM »

There's a pub near my house that takes 10 minutes to walk to, but it takes me 56 minutes to walk back.

The difference is staggering.
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« Reply #130 on: October 04, 2019, 11:54:47 AM »

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« Reply #131 on: October 07, 2019, 14:37:51 PM »

Two male deer are leaving a gay bar. One turns to the other and says: "I can't believe I've just blown 20 bucks".
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WWW
« Reply #132 on: October 08, 2019, 05:03:04 AM »

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