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Z-day

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Midd93
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« on: December 01, 2009, 16:18:40 PM »

Which 5 items (that you already own, or can fairly easily be acquired) would you choose for when the zombie apocalypse, or the raptor happens?
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mdg
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« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2009, 16:29:11 PM »

Don't you mean RAPTURE? Raptors died out a while ago......
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cyghost
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« Reply #2 on: December 01, 2009, 16:38:23 PM »

 Grin I thought that was a day xkcd fears is upon us soon

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mdg
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« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2009, 16:51:14 PM »

 
Quote from: Cyghost
I thought that was a day xkcd fears is upon us soon
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Midd93
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« Reply #4 on: December 01, 2009, 16:52:34 PM »



No. The Raptor is predicted to come to earth soon. You may have heard of the end times (which are now) there being a bunch of conditions set in the Bible that will indicate the coming of the Raptor.
What will happen is that all the Christians will be taken by it, but all the non-believers will be fine. This may or may not be related to Z-day, as it is said that the dead Christians will rise again. But I need some more clarification on this.
Seems absurd, if you ask me but who am I to judge the will of God?

Anyway - this is aside the point.

I will post the first list.


1. Crowbar (Gordon Freeman style)
2. Crucifix (Unsure if this will work on Christian zombies, but just in case)
3. Chocolate (Good for not dying of starvation, tastes good, can be bartered or used to distract zombies perhaps)
4. Ipod (With skeptical podcasts)
5. Wind up flashlight (to see at night)

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Jane of the Jungle
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« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2009, 00:01:52 AM »


I will post the first list.

1. Crowbar (Gordon Freeman style)
2. Crucifix (Unsure if this will work on Christian zombies, but just in case)
3. Chocolate (Good for not dying of starvation, tastes good, can be bartered or used to distract zombies perhaps)
4. Ipod (With skeptical podcasts)



May I ask why you need to take anything with???  Isn't it suppose to be "heaven" (everything included in the package)
you know....everything would be to goooood to be true?  You know what they say:  When it sound to good to be true, it probably IS Wink


Secondly, if you feel the need to take stuff, I suggest taking 10 of each, forever could be a looooong time Roll Eyes
and a Ipod's guarantee only lasts a natural life time  Wink and, and, and they do rust underground, for incase
you have to wait another billion years Grin

Quote
5. Wind up flashlight (to see at night)

You would definitely need it, cause gawd all mighty forgot to create
light (sun) for four days when he created earth, could happen again you know  Wink
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Irreverend
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« Reply #6 on: December 02, 2009, 00:31:51 AM »

You may have heard of the end times (which are now) there being a bunch of conditions set in the Bible that will indicate the coming of the Raptor.
Funny how this prediction has been "true" for someone in every generation so far since the very start of this crap. Funny also how they've all been so spectacularly wrong. But today of course many say they're not. They know because the bible tells them so. Ho hum. Yawn.
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mdg
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« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2009, 09:11:52 AM »

Quote from: Midd93
No. The Raptor is predicted to come to earth soon. You may have heard of the end times (which are now) there being a bunch of conditions set in the Bible that will indicate the coming of the Raptor.
What will happen is that all the Christians will be taken by it, but all the non-believers will be fine. This may or may not be related to Z-day, as it is said that the dead Christians will rise again. But I need some more clarification on this.
Seems absurd, if you ask me but who am I to judge the will of God?
  WTF!!

ROFLMAO!!!!
Jesus on a dinosaur?!, now I've heard everything.  Grin Grin Grin Grin
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Midd93
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« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2009, 09:20:59 AM »

Hey guys, this is posted under the "fun" section

"Secondly, if you feel the need to take stuff, I suggest taking 10 of each, forever could be a looooong time
and a Ipod's guarantee only lasts a natural life time   and, and, and they do rust underground, for incase
you have to wait another billion years"

Dude, the God would provide me with a charger for my Ipod. srsly
Thats what heaven is all about!!
 
"Jesus on a dinosaur?!, now I've heard everything."
Have you heard of a blind sausage dog riding backwards on a unicycle wearing a little hat?

"Funny how this prediction has been "true" for someone in every generation so far since the very start of this crap. Funny also how they've all been so spectacularly wrong. But today of course many say they're not. They know because the bible tells them so. Ho hum. Yawn"
Yeah, we will see how much you will be yawning when the sh1t hits the fan!!


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mdg
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« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2009, 09:42:56 AM »

Quote from: Midd93
Hey guys, this is posted under the "fun" section

Yes, I know that, it's still hilarious. Of all the nonsense I've read about the rapture, yours was the funniest I've seen.  Grin

My comment should be taken in the same vein, Midd93. Wink

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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2009, 10:15:51 AM »

I'm changing my exclamation of surprise to:

"Jesus Christ on a dinosaur!"

.....

......


What?
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Jane of the Jungle
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« Reply #11 on: December 02, 2009, 10:48:45 AM »

Yeah, we will see how much you will be yawning when the sh1t hits the fan!!


Now that would depend on what you see as sh!t hitting the fan hey Wink

A comet hitting earth is more my idea of "sh!t hitting the fan"  Wink
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Midd93
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« Reply #12 on: December 02, 2009, 11:35:28 AM »

You guys!

We dont need to worry so much.
The zombie hunting has already started for reals!

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Irreverend
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« Reply #13 on: December 02, 2009, 12:11:38 PM »

Yeah, we will see how much you will be yawning when the sh1t hits the fan!!
What, is your skydaddy going to take my free will away so I can't decide to spit in his eye instead of kneeling before that churlish asshole? Is that how it'll work? You're a funny person, you are.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #14 on: December 02, 2009, 12:19:02 PM »

I'd have myself bitten. Since I'm not a theist it's my only shot at living forever. And hey, atleast I can eat BRAAAAAIIIINS!
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Faerie
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« Reply #15 on: December 08, 2009, 15:36:29 PM »

Well, considering I'll be one of those "left behind" I certainly wont be in need to choose 5 items, I can freely help myself with anything everybody else left behind when they left for their castle in the sky.
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mdg
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« Reply #16 on: December 08, 2009, 16:22:12 PM »

I just LOVE this  Grin  Grin...
From Eternal Earth Bound Pets

Quote
You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved.  But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind?   Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.


We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward.  Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 22 states.  Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to  rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.  

We currently cover the following states:
Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, North Carolina, and Georgia.

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved.  Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee.   A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must  limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals. [Please note:  we can now offer rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys in NH,VT, ID and MT ]

Thank you for your interest in Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. We hope we can help provide you with peace of mind.

Please visit our FAQS page

{Note:  A portion of income generated from advertising on this site is contributed to community food shelves / food banks in Minnesota and New Hampshire}

 Be sure to read their FAQ page......
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cyghost
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« Reply #17 on: December 08, 2009, 18:55:01 PM »

I have a FAQ... how many clients do they have?  Evil
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GCG
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« Reply #18 on: December 09, 2009, 14:53:54 PM »

You guys!

We dont need to worry so much.
The zombie hunting has already started for reals!




is this the same newspaper you used to punt your argument about prayer catching a thug on the Re-Mails discussion elsewhere here.
OI VEY brother.
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