Lyfstraf

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Tweefo (October 26, 2017, 03:13:44 AM):
Die Middelburg Observer het 'n vraag oor lyfstraf gevra. Die kommentaar is, volgens my mening, een van die redes hoekom ons probleme met geweld probeer oplos. Ons word so grootgemaak.


Faerie (October 26, 2017, 05:48:23 AM):
It is soooo exhausting reading that...

What they dont have insight on is how their own psyche has been so damaged by their childhood experiences that their conciousness WILL defend violence to children as the indoctrination is so strong. Its why so many people are now treated for a variety of "conditions" as they are faced with what they experienced, their childhood interpretation of said experience and in their 40's (usually) have to re-look the true reasons for their behaviours. Instead they dont... they blame external factors, never really getting to the "self" as its just too damn scary...
Spike (October 31, 2017, 20:50:49 PM):
I disagree somewhat. Most of us grew up with the occasional 'lekker pak slae' and I, for one, can honestly not say I am worse off than I would have been. Of course, we don't know what we don't know, but my parents were very restrained, never hit us in anger, and certainly never slapped anyone. It was a rare and almost a formal occasion, and we were in no doubt about which boundaries we had overstepped.

The 'problem with today's parents' (sorry!) is that they preach the 'no hidings' thing but don't replace that punishment with a well thought out system of discipline. They either forget or don't understand that children need boundaries as much as they need love and respect, and that consistency is key. In my experience, they end up yelling, screaming and occasionally slapping kids - which I regard as highly disrespectful.

I must stress that I was never exposed to random violence as a child. Now that I am older, I confess I have seen adults act in ways considered to be normal by perhaps 70% of their peers but which absolutely make my hair stand on end. Where do you draw the line?

It's perhaps better to err on the side of caution and prohibit it, but (wishful thinking) it would have been better to teach parents to replace one 'system' with another, not just hope for the best.

brianvds (October 31, 2017, 21:33:28 PM):
I disagree somewhat. Most of us grew up with the occasional 'lekker pak slae' and I, for one, can honestly not say I am worse off than I would have been. Of course, we don't know what we don't know, but my parents were very restrained, never hit us in anger, and certainly never slapped anyone. It was a rare and almost a formal occasion, and we were in no doubt about which boundaries we had overstepped.

Yup. As always with these bandwagonish things, they are barking up the wrong tree. When the rest of parenting is done correctly, I don't think it matters much one way or the other whether parents occasionally grab the paplepel. And when the rest of the parenting is not done correctly, then merely banning the corporal punishment will make no difference.

It's probably one more irrelevant and almost impossible to enforce law.
Faerie (November 01, 2017, 04:47:42 AM):
Slapping is disrespectful but hitting with a paplepel isnt? Could you elaborate?

How restrained were your folks? I wont go all analytical here but that, too, is a major issue. Emotional Neglect and abuse is on the same side of a coin.

Really, its truly moot, we arent issued with training material and nobody is fit to be a parent. We are all damaged by our experiences as children.

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