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Ritual

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Brian
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« Reply #15 on: October 13, 2014, 07:10:30 AM »

Donn my younger son (34) has been in a relationship with Lee for the last 6 years. His take on marriage is "it's just paper work". The interesting thing is that he says that Lee is indeed his common law wife and actually has considerable rights in common law in SA. I like Henk's  approach to rewriting the wills; this will add substantial solidity to the situation as well. I have been married 46 years now and went through the whole rigmarole, NG Kerk, Gebooie, etc etc and a moerse plaas party reception. Yes marriage does not guarantee longevity of a relationship but a good relationship guarantees the longevity of a marriage.
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Faerie
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« Reply #16 on: October 13, 2014, 13:04:49 PM »

Boogie sez it all.  My S/O and I got married for financial reasons... I work for one of the big banks and he could only qualify for a staff rate on our bond if we were married.  So we popped into home affairs, signed what needed to be signed and went straight back to the bank with our piece of paper that would save a couple thousand rand on our budget every month. 

My mother in law only found out about our "marriage" some eight months later, and after being furious and ranting at us, she arranged for a fairly elaborate wedding reception to take place....  complete with the "family" from the Eastern Cape neither of us have ever heard of and the wedding gifts (a silver Ice scoop and teaset) that we never will use. Oh, and she got a dominee to say a blessing over us...

Sickening.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #17 on: October 13, 2014, 13:09:54 PM »

Oh, and she got a dominee to say a blessing over us...

A prime opportunity to start convulsing on the floor and foaming at the mouth.
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Mefiante
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« Reply #18 on: October 13, 2014, 13:14:33 PM »

A prime opportunity to start convulsing on the floor and foaming at the mouth.
Hmm, I wonder.  Doing so might fuel the delusion by “confirming” that you’re possessed by a demon.  In turn, this could occasion yet more unwelcome ritual in the form of an exorcism and a prayer vigil… Evil

'Luthon64
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #19 on: October 13, 2014, 13:17:06 PM »

Yes marriage does not guarantee longevity of a relationship but a good relationship guarantees the longevity of a marriage.

For clarification: I did say it's generally people who rush into weddings, probably so that the pomping is more kosher... because of religion.

So no, getting back on topic: I don't understand why people adore rituals and ceremonies so much, but I seriously doubt I make up part the target audience. If there is "something to it" then I'm clueless.
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #20 on: October 13, 2014, 13:18:20 PM »

Hmm, I wonder.  Doing so might fuel the delusion by “confirming” that you’re possessed by a demon.  In turn, this could occasion yet more unwelcome ritual in the form of an exorcism and a prayer vigil… Evil

Yet more opportunities!

EDIT: I can see it now.... Speakers hidden throughout the house with demon-voices pre-programmed, some lights that flicker on remote control... You could have a veritable field day!
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Mefiante
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« Reply #21 on: October 13, 2014, 13:36:57 PM »

I don't understand why people adore rituals and ceremonies so much…
I think the two dimensions mentioned thus far in this thread pretty much account for it.  There’s the sense of community and belonging that rituals serve to formalise and to reinforce.  The sense of community and belonging improves social cohesion, beginning at the level of the individual and working through larger and larger groupings of people who share similar ideas, habits and practices.  Improved social cohesion means a greater sense of security for both individuals and groups.  And everyone wants ever more in the way of feeling safe, protected and looked after.  (Those of us brave enough not to need others’ affirmations and/or participation for our sense of self-worth and security are of course much less inclined to fall in line with such norms, seeing them for the hollow follies they are.)

Basically, it’s “If we all believe and do much the same things, we’re all okay.”  It’s the ultimate self-justificatory ad populum.

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Rigil Kent
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« Reply #22 on: October 13, 2014, 13:48:26 PM »

In turn, this could occasion yet more unwelcome ritual in the form of an exorcism and a prayer vigil… Evil

... after which you could anticlimactically blame the oysters. Yawn

Rigil
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cr1t
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« Reply #23 on: October 13, 2014, 14:25:35 PM »

(Those of us brave enough not to need others’ affirmations and/or participation for our sense of self-worth and security are of course much less inclined to fall in line with such norms, seeing them for the hollow follies they are.)

'Luthon64

Ok so I take it "Those who are brave " never celebrated there or one of there family's birthday
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Mefiante
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« Reply #24 on: October 13, 2014, 15:26:30 PM »

Ok so I take it "Those who are brave " never celebrated there or one of there family's birthday
How do you come to this peculiar conclusion?

'Luthon64
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Brian
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« Reply #25 on: October 13, 2014, 15:48:33 PM »

akshuelly I believe that if we delve deep enough into the history of marriage as a particular ritual, you will find that it has a reasonably logical foundation, i.e. small communities of the dim past could not risk interfering with bloodlines and thus publicised the fact that a marriage would be taking place between so and so: this was often manipulated to strengthen bloodlines, power and wealth. Hence the need for "witnesses" and the demand from the pulpit: "does anybody here object" and of course "What God has brought together, let no man (women??) rip asunder!!!" In Summary, the ritual was originally a community-based process to look after its own genetic pool.....then the shamans and churches came in and stuffed it up...
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Rigil Kent
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« Reply #26 on: October 13, 2014, 15:49:41 PM »

Ok so I take it "Those who are brave " never celebrated there or one of there family's birthday
I can tell you this much. The amount of bravery required to shun the birthday celebrations of a certain family member in particular will border on foolhardiness. Wink
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #27 on: October 13, 2014, 15:55:14 PM »

In Summary, the ritual was originally a community-based process to look after its own genetic pool.....

Not to mention how it fostered inbreeding by the so-called "elite". The rule of unintended consequences I guess.

FYI I was watching a thing a while back about how marrying cousins isn't considered completely stupid by everyone. Do I agree? Dunno yet, lack of information and interest.

Ok so I take it "Those who are brave " never celebrated there or one of there family's birthday

Whilst entirely besides the point, yes I actually do resist having to attend my own birthday party.

EDIT: This year Majin was kind enough to let me skip it.
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cr1t
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« Reply #28 on: October 13, 2014, 15:59:45 PM »

Ok so I take it "Those who are brave " never celebrated there or one of there family's birthday
How do you come to this peculiar conclusion?

'Luthon64

"Rituals" where being discuses here with a certain amount of disdain. So the point I was trying to make is that a birthday celebration is a ritual, I think everybody has taken part of except maybe Jehovah witnesses.
So as to say none of us live complete outside society. if you really did you would not be on this forum.
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cr1t
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« Reply #29 on: October 13, 2014, 16:04:30 PM »

FYI I was watching a thing a while back about how marrying cousins isn't considered completely stupid by everyone. Do I agree? Dunno yet, lack of information and interest.

Depends on how hot she/he is.

Whilst entirely besides the point, yes I actually do resist having to attend my own birthday party.

At a certain age people stop congratulating you, and start giving there condolences.
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