Okay this is a very quick reaction during my lunch hour. I may have to return later to fill-out more detail / references or even correct my hasty statements

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1. can anyone tell me wtf I drank?
Most likely some harmless metal oxides, but I wouldn't make a practice of drinking that on a regular basis. I have seen this "changing the water" in foot-detox flummery where patients submerge their feet in a water bath which is electrolysed and the water becomes redish-brown (with floaty bits) in a few minutes. That lead me to this explanation of the process on a detox debunking website ...
A small electric current is passed between two electrodes immersed in the water, which soon becomes quite discolored. The color, of course, comes from electrolytic corrosion of the metal electrodes. These are usually made of iron, nickel, and copper, all of which decompose into colored ions. These colors will vary with the amount of salt present and the pH of the solution, and they can be changed and greatly intensified by the substances that either added to the bath before use ...
So to prepare a demo the sales person need only coat the electrodes or the container which will hold the water with an invisible layer of salt. But while the electrolysis is running, if you lean in to take a look hold your breath, that chlorine in the water (which should be there

) has to go somewhere ...
Byproducts of the electrolysis process are bubbles of hydrogen and chlorine gases (both of which are dangerous in confined spaces)
2. Chlorine causes Cancer
3. Chlorine causes high cholestorol
4. the world health standard is 25 tdp (total dissolved particles), and most tap water is around 100 - 110, ie ITS REALY BAD!!
5. Organic Calcium is better then inorganic calcium
2. I don't know the answer to this one either. I'd need a bit more time. My gut reaction is to ask what the dosages are which would be carcinogenic? I have a feeling that chlorine (being the deadly substance that it is) would likely be fatal in the dosages which would later lead to cancer? I could be way off on that one, I'll see what I can find later.
3. This is something I find unlikely. Cholesterol is a carbohydrate (made of only Carbon, Hydrogen and Oxygen atoms), it is by this definition referred to as an organic compound. Chlorine is present in our water system as
calcium hypochlorite (the same stuff as pool HTH - High Test Hypochlorite - hey I remember something from high school!). It is completely devoid of hydrogen so it is not a direct source of another carbohydrate and because it contains no H it is an inorganic compound. It would require H from another source to form even rudimentary organic compounds and specifically forming
C27H46O sounds like it would require a lot of other strange compounds to form. That's not to say that it is impossible to form an organic compound in such a reaction, even if Chlorine is just a reagent. What the sales person did not say was what this reaction was - what, whatelse and whatmore forms cholesterol (plus other stuff).
4. I answered this last and started searching the
WHO website but I'm running out of time. There are a lot of results for "safe levels of hypochlorite in water". Can't confirm those figures and I'm not sure if either the CSIR or SABS have these figures online.
5. From the definition of "Organic" and "Inorganic" in point 3, it is impossible for Ca to be organic. Perhaps she meant "natural" instead of organic, these are not synonymous in science. But if she meant "natural" then all she is presenting is an
argumentum ad naturum.
3. any tips on how to deal with similar situations in the future.
Bring popcorn, salt it from the sales person's equipment. Ask what she has a degree in? A BA is not a BChem or BSc. If you want us to accept your argument from authority, prove your authority - and then we will ignore your argument from authority anyway

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Okay, I have a few minutes left. So maybe I should go into why we put hypochlorite in our water and HTH in our pools (we put it in pools at much much higher doses than there is in our tap water). Dissolved in water and kept in the dark (such as pipes underground) the hypochlorite molecule is pretty stable, it is quite harmless even to bacteria and microbial nasties who move through the water and accidentally swallow these molecules while they are (relatively) dormant in the dark. When the water containing bacteria and the other microbes is exposed to light or high heat these organisms think it's time for fun in the sun and normally they would reproduce. But instead what happens is the HTH, the water in the bacteria and the light start a reaction. The bacteria literally rips apart becoming other compounds (including toxic Hydrochloric acid) - a rater horrible death if we were them - but then again, we have nerves to feel this happening and they do not. Not all bacteria are killed but that's okay because the HTH keeps them below the safe level for us not to get sick.
But your pool is always in the sun, how can HTH work? Actually, if you chlorinate at night rather than during the day, the bacteria killing process is far more efficient and you can save yourself HTH costs if you always dose at night rather than during the day. Don't forget to go out early with the sunrise and listen to the bacteria scream

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Phew, one hour, time's up.
Haha, I had to come back to add this ... HTH ... hope this helps!!
I crack myself up.