Letting someone know you're an atheist.

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Majin (March 09, 2012, 10:35:48 AM):
What worries me though is how she came to the conclusion that you don't believe in the first place. If her in-laws are anything like my family it could be that they're pressuring her into trying to convert you or judging her because of your choices, which means she's not necessarily the one you should be fighting with.

Yeah, its precisely whats happening. It is her inlaws. :(
It sucks.
Majin (March 09, 2012, 10:40:09 AM):
:) Thanks everyone for all the good advise.
LJGraey (March 09, 2012, 12:43:40 PM):
Ouch :(
Yeah, there's no pleasant way to deal with something like that. Using your sister that way is a form of mental abuse in my eyes. I'd give her husband especially a choice piece of my mind...
Faerie (March 09, 2012, 13:21:47 PM):
Using your sister that way is a form of mental abuse in my eyes. I'd give her husband especially a choice piece of my mind...


Her sister has a brain, containing hopefully some intelligence, and therefore can make a choice as to whether she wants to bow to that type of abuse or not. However, not sure how mature the lady is, sometimes we only find our voice and strengths later on in life.
LJGraey (March 09, 2012, 14:07:50 PM):
True Faerie. That there was a big brother getting his hackles up at the thought of a weaker sibling being mistreated. A purely emotional response.

Obviously Majin's sister should make her own decisions, but I don't think it's quite that black and white.

I can only use my own experiences as a frame of reference, so it might not be applicable to this situation at all, but my own family did the same to me, using my mother to try and drag me back into the fold. It ended up creating a lot of tension, which my mother bore the brunt of. In the end there was such a big fallout with the rest of the family that not even my own sisters speak to me unless they have to anymore.

The manipulation was very subtle. It's all gentle nudges and "conerned" questions. My mother truly believed that everyone was acting out of love (as I'm sure they believed as well) and that she was doing what was right. But the fact is that they were putting her in an impossible situation. It took me having a massive fight with my grandfather at a family gathering before they started backing off.

I'm sure they still discuss me, but at least they don't put my mom in the middle of it anymore, and I made it abundantly clear that if anyone has something to say about me they'd better say it to my face.

It's a sickening situation, and not something I'd wish on even my worst enemy.

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