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Author Topic:

Letting someone know you're an atheist.

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Faerie
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« Reply #15 on: March 08, 2012, 10:42:45 AM »

The only problem with that Rigil, is that they would insist on (at least) a weekly session where they sit and hold your hands and pray for you, and the more fundy of them would want to lay their grubby germ-filled hands on your head in an attempt to evict any latent demons from you. You'll be inundated by sms, email and other forms with spam messages proclaiming that god loves you and whatnot.  I'm not sure whether I'd be able to stomach that.
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GCG
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« Reply #16 on: March 08, 2012, 10:56:08 AM »

oh hell no.  i still find that people who know im atheist, and seemingly kosher with it, accidently adds me to there huggy-huggy touchy-feely remails.
i use to have fun trolling them, now i simple ignore them. 
maybe a bit of plain and simple 'no' must suffice.
can we pray for you? no.
do you hate god? no.
why did you stray? none of your business.
did your lover turn you from god? no.
god loves you. super.

they will get sick of it soon enough.  ooh ooh, or even better!! when the questions start, answer: ask god.  tehee!  Evil
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Rigil Kent
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« Reply #17 on: March 08, 2012, 11:14:51 AM »

The only problem with that Rigil, is that they would insist on (at least) a weekly session where they sit and hold your hands and pray for you, and the more fundy of them would want to lay their grubby germ-filled hands on your head in an attempt to evict any latent demons from you. You'll be inundated by sms, email and other forms with spam messages proclaiming that god loves you and whatnot.  I'm not sure whether I'd be able to stomach that.

Sherbet yes.... I didn't consider those repercussions! And besides, putting up a religio-envious front like that is unlikely to sit well with most atheists. Oh well, back to defense by declaration: I'm sorry, but my brain just doesn't work that way.

Rigil
« Last Edit: March 08, 2012, 11:41:21 AM by Rigil Kent » Logged
BoogieMonster
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« Reply #18 on: March 08, 2012, 11:47:03 AM »

ooh ooh, or even better!! when the questions start, answer: ask god.  tehee!  Evil

I'm sure many would reply: "Well I asked Jebus and he revealed to me that you hate him".
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Faerie
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« Reply #19 on: March 08, 2012, 13:23:10 PM »

ooh ooh, or even better!! when the questions start, answer: ask god.  tehee!  Evil

I'm sure many would reply: "Well I asked Jebus and he revealed to me that you hate him".

and when you burst out in tears (or throw a temper tantrum) out of sheer frustration at their idiocy, they exclaim:  "See, its gawd touching your heart!!"  *headdesk*
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Majin
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« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2012, 10:35:48 AM »

What worries me though is how she came to the conclusion that you don't believe in the first place. If her in-laws are anything like my family it could be that they're pressuring her into trying to convert you or judging her because of your choices, which means she's not necessarily the one you should be fighting with.

Yeah, its precisely whats happening. It is her inlaws. Sad
It sucks.
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Majin
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« Reply #21 on: March 09, 2012, 10:40:09 AM »

 Smiley Thanks everyone for all the good advise.
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LJGraey
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« Reply #22 on: March 09, 2012, 12:43:40 PM »

Ouch Sad
Yeah, there's no pleasant way to deal with something like that. Using your sister that way is a form of mental abuse in my eyes. I'd give her husband especially a choice piece of my mind...
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Faerie
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« Reply #23 on: March 09, 2012, 13:21:47 PM »

Using your sister that way is a form of mental abuse in my eyes. I'd give her husband especially a choice piece of my mind...


Her sister has a brain, containing hopefully some intelligence, and therefore can make a choice as to whether she wants to bow to that type of abuse or not. However, not sure how mature the lady is, sometimes we only find our voice and strengths later on in life.
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LJGraey
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« Reply #24 on: March 09, 2012, 14:07:50 PM »

True Faerie. That there was a big brother getting his hackles up at the thought of a weaker sibling being mistreated. A purely emotional response.

Obviously Majin's sister should make her own decisions, but I don't think it's quite that black and white.

I can only use my own experiences as a frame of reference, so it might not be applicable to this situation at all, but my own family did the same to me, using my mother to try and drag me back into the fold. It ended up creating a lot of tension, which my mother bore the brunt of. In the end there was such a big fallout with the rest of the family that not even my own sisters speak to me unless they have to anymore.

The manipulation was very subtle. It's all gentle nudges and "conerned" questions. My mother truly believed that everyone was acting out of love (as I'm sure they believed as well) and that she was doing what was right. But the fact is that they were putting her in an impossible situation. It took me having a massive fight with my grandfather at a family gathering before they started backing off.

I'm sure they still discuss me, but at least they don't put my mom in the middle of it anymore, and I made it abundantly clear that if anyone has something to say about me they'd better say it to my face.

It's a sickening situation, and not something I'd wish on even my worst enemy.
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Faerie
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« Reply #25 on: March 09, 2012, 15:22:12 PM »

Our stories actually make interesting reading fodder.  We've got a thread somewhere here where a couple of us told our tales of woe. I was disinherited for a good couple years before they figured out that there is a use for me after all, and we had to start building up relationships from scratch again. 

None of our stories are fun reads, and more than just a few of us dont have happy endings. Hopefully Majin's will result in a status quo in the very least.

Good luck Majin, for what its worth, we're cheering for a happy ending for you.
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Superman
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« Reply #26 on: March 09, 2012, 16:56:08 PM »

When dealing with religionists it is important to know your arguments very well.
This is a great forum to start to know these things. You could also read The God Delusion, Dawkins(if you have not already). I found it an easy read and very informative.
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Majin
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« Reply #27 on: March 13, 2012, 08:58:48 AM »

True Faerie. That there was a big brother getting his hackles up at the thought of a weaker sibling being mistreated. A purely emotional response.

Obviously Majin's sister should make her own decisions, but I don't think it's quite that black and white.

I can only use my own experiences as a frame of reference, so it might not be applicable to this situation at all, but my own family did the same to me, using my mother to try and drag me back into the fold. It ended up creating a lot of tension, which my mother bore the brunt of. In the end there was such a big fallout with the rest of the family that not even my own sisters speak to me unless they have to anymore.

The manipulation was very subtle. It's all gentle nudges and "conerned" questions. My mother truly believed that everyone was acting out of love (as I'm sure they believed as well) and that she was doing what was right. But the fact is that they were putting her in an impossible situation. It took me having a massive fight with my grandfather at a family gathering before they started backing off.

I'm sure they still discuss me, but at least they don't put my mom in the middle of it anymore, and I made it abundantly clear that if anyone has something to say about me they'd better say it to my face.

It's a sickening situation, and not something I'd wish on even my worst enemy.

There is alot of manipulation involved, from the very beginning. This is just the tip of the iceburg. I had to deal with it by ignoring it because there was just nothing i could do. I respected her wishes even though I knew it was wrong. I would rather be there for her seeing as she is cut of from the whole family. (She is in a manipulative relationship). But this latest religion issue is really a problem. Because its just one thing that her in-laws don't want to let go. And I am more of a peaceful person. Being the older sibling is difficult because you have this huge protective quality. I have always protected her but there comes a time where you can't. Undecided

If we do go our seperate ways - it is life. But i will still try my best to reason with her.
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Majin
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« Reply #28 on: March 13, 2012, 09:00:12 AM »

Ouch Sad
Yeah, there's no pleasant way to deal with something like that. Using your sister that way is a form of mental abuse in my eyes. I'd give her husband especially a choice piece of my mind...


I have given him a pieace of my mind countless times. Cheesy But it is to no use.
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Majin
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« Reply #29 on: March 13, 2012, 09:05:07 AM »

When dealing with religionists it is important to know your arguments very well.
This is a great forum to start to know these things. You could also read The God Delusion, Dawkins(if you have not already). I found it an easy read and very informative.

I know only a little. I will have to read up on alot of stuff. It just feels like the list of reading material is endless.
Cheesy
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