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Non-religious weddings

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cr1t
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cr1t
« Reply #30 on: November 29, 2012, 15:30:21 PM »

Congrats. Don't worry about the happily ever after, us heathens have lower divorce rates than the theists.

Yeah, weird that...  Evil Must be the devil looking after his own.

Is there some stats on this please
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #31 on: November 29, 2012, 15:45:21 PM »

Heard it a while ago, quick google gave me this:

http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm
Code:
Religion % have been divorced
Jews                   30%
Born-again Christians   27%
Other Christians   24%
Atheists, Agnostics   21%
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beLIEf
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« Reply #32 on: November 29, 2012, 21:02:00 PM »

will hopefully live happily ever after....

Fixed

Congratulations! 

 Grin

Cheesy thanks!!

... of the skoon menses prayers
Ah, did you snag a boertjie? Can't go wrong there. Geluk ôk. Smiley

Rigil

Nope not a boertjie a boesman  Shocked

And those stats make interesting reading... I think it is down to factors such as pressure to get married quickly so as not to "live in sin" before really knowing each other, or getting married because there are little people on the way.. rather than a good few sinful years of living together and really getting to know each other before tying the knot, - if they even bother - which I didn't think I would ever, but v happy I did.
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Rigil Kent
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« Reply #33 on: November 29, 2012, 23:11:17 PM »

... before really knowing each other ...
Oh, that never happens either way. Except for biographical details such as birth marks, favourite colours and hot or cold milk, any aspirations of cracking behavioural patterns, weight fluctuations, and emotional codes soon peter out.  Tongue


Rigil
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Faerie
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« Reply #34 on: November 30, 2012, 07:53:45 AM »


Nope not a boertjie a boesman  Shocked

And those stats make interesting reading... I think it is down to factors such as pressure to get married quickly so as not to "live in sin" before really knowing each other, or getting married because there are little people on the way.. rather than a good few sinful years of living together and really getting to know each other before tying the knot, - if they even bother - which I didn't think I would ever, but v happy I did.

I suspect it has to do that atheists dont feel compelled to live by externally set rules.  We tend to view our partners as exactly that, partners, and dont bow to the traditional wife/husband roles, more communication, more mutual respect (from a woman's point of view, the husband would not dream of telling her what to do and she in turn feeling compelled to do it regardless of her opinion thereof), its probably the communication and mutual regard of each other's opinions that makes the biggest difference. I also suspect we tend to get married later in life due to the shortage of suitable mates and with age comes maturity and wisdom, it rather helps not getting married at 19...
« Last Edit: November 30, 2012, 10:20:42 AM by Faerie » Logged
BoogieMonster
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« Reply #35 on: November 30, 2012, 10:15:08 AM »

Hey look everyone! it's ANECDOTE time!

I agree with some of the above but maybe I can add...

Me and Majin are both a bit weird. That may or may not be related to our heathen-ness.

The thing is we accept, nay, embrace each other's weirdness. I don't live under the illusion that God created "one true soul-mate" that I'm supposed to find and love. When we have arguments I don't start doubting whether I've found that person dog made for me, or whether they're "still out there" and run away. I know we're just 2 people trying our best to get along and that's bound to fail at certain times, and bound to be great at other times.

Also, I (like to) think we keep our jealousies in check because we understand we are going to be attracted to other people at times, and don't have to feel jealousy/guilty about it, we trust each other enough to know we are faithful (If you ignore the double meaning), because we want to be not because we're being forced to be. Somehow that seems to make a difference.

I guess the theme here is: We don't think this is going to be easy because a magical man set it up all nicely for us. We realise this takes work.
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Faerie
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« Reply #36 on: November 30, 2012, 10:23:20 AM »

Hey look everyone! it's ANECDOTE time!

You know Boogie, I just absolutely love your (sarcastic at times) sense of humour!!

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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #37 on: November 30, 2012, 10:40:39 AM »

Hey look everyone! it's ANECDOTE time!
You know Boogie, I just absolutely love your (sarcastic at times) sense of humour!!

Thanks, I've been told it's an acquired taste.
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beLIEf
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« Reply #38 on: December 02, 2012, 00:00:30 AM »


Nope not a boertjie a boesman  Shocked

And those stats make interesting reading... I think it is down to factors such as pressure to get married quickly so as not to "live in sin" before really knowing each other, or getting married because there are little people on the way.. rather than a good few sinful years of living together and really getting to know each other before tying the knot, - if they even bother - which I didn't think I would ever, but v happy I did.


I suspect it has to do that atheists dont feel compelled to live by externally set rules.  We tend to view our partners as exactly that, partners, and dont bow to the traditional wife/husband roles, more communication, more mutual respect (from a woman's point of view, the husband would not dream of telling her what to do and she in turn feeling compelled to do it regardless of her opinion thereof), its probably the communication and mutual regard of each other's opinions that makes the biggest difference. I also suspect we tend to get married later in life due to the shortage of suitable mates and with age comes maturity and wisdom, it rather helps not getting married at 19...


Yes totally agree with the lack of gender stereotyping, definitely the communication- yes and from many of the people around me I seem to be at least 10 years older than most that got married religious or not.


 I don't live under the illusion that God created "one true soul-mate" that I'm supposed to find and love. When we have arguments I don't start doubting whether I've found that person dog made for me, or whether they're "still out there" and run away. I know we're just 2 people trying our best to get along and that's bound to fail at certain times, and bound to be great at other times.



Reminds me of this....

Tim Minchin: If I Didn't Have You
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Benzine
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« Reply #39 on: December 02, 2012, 09:35:52 AM »

People sometimes get married for the wrong reasons. Example: marry for money, fame or just for the sake of getting married because the media out there make it look so attractive. The media and social advertisements make it look like it is only one long road of happiness and forever bliss to be married. Romance is enhanced with big diamonds and beautiful thin people making it irresistible not to want the same thing. There is a certain "way" you need to act when married which was developed over the years and carried over by your own parents. People should get married if they love each other and want to share a life together. That is it. No other hidden agendas. They should decide how they will be getting on with their married life without being criticized for their way of life. This also means that you get married the way you want to....having your own way with the ceremony.

The same goes for having children. ALL the adverts on television and media show ONLY happy, content children and their married - almost always married - parents.
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Rigil Kent
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« Reply #40 on: December 02, 2012, 11:27:11 AM »

The media and social advertisements make it look like it is only one long road of happiness and forever bliss to be married.
Well, maybe they are just perpetuating commonly held ideas. We are exposed to the romantic side of getting hitched very early in our lives. How many bed-time stories didn't culminate in the hero and his new bride living happily ever after?

Rigil 
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Hermes
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« Reply #41 on: December 02, 2012, 14:34:56 PM »

O yes thanks all happily married
Congratulations and many happy years together!
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Mefiante
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« Reply #42 on: February 10, 2015, 19:58:25 PM »

This could fit into any of several threads.
Andrew Copson sets the record straight about humanism

'Luthon64
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #43 on: February 10, 2015, 23:21:00 PM »

It all gets relativistic really quickly doesn't it? Yes, what I consider perfectly valid and rational and moral things to do, is indeed what that dude would call "debaucherous". This is a spot of trouble for our ilk, to get the other side to see our point we need to appear not "scary", but religion has nicely defined the "scary" to be us. It's a clever trick, one I almost admire for it's ingenuity, were it not so entirely contrary to free thought and the truth.

It's a slippery slope NON-fallacy. The problem being the slope is not nearly as spike-encrusted as the proponents of it would have one believe. How often do you hear this shit?

Quote from: Upstanding Christian Citizen
If we allow these athiests to run amok, next thing they'll want us accepting gays.

It's an odd sort of argument that builds lies upon truths upon lies. The core premise is that the listener is already biased that some outcome is bad due to a lifetime of beating it into their head. Then you base the argument against atheism on that same shaky ground. Worst part is you can't exactly DENY it. It's true! It's the premise of the outcome being negative that is false.

It's all circular I tell you, circles everywhere.
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