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Prayer Cookbook for busy people

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Faerie
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« on: March 29, 2011, 14:49:30 PM »

This just got dumped in my in-box - in pdf format, so someone, somewhere has too much time on their hands, and are also denying the author of her dues. But never mind that for the moment, its the standard fodder:

First, you get the disclaimer:
Quote
DISCLAIMER
The advice contained in this material might not be suitable for everyone. The author designed the information to present his opinion about the subject matter. The reader must carefully investigate all aspects of any spiritual decision before committing him—or herself. The author obtained the information contained herein from sources he believes to be reliable and from his own personal experience, but he neither implies nor intends any guarantee of accuracy. The author is not in the business of giving spiritual, physical, or any other type of professional advice. Should the reader need such advice, he or she must seek services from a competent professional. The author particularly disclaims any liability, loss or risk taken by individuals who directly or indirectly act on the information contained herein. The author believes that the advice presented here is sound, but readers cannot hold him responsible for either the actions they take or the result of those actions.

THEN, you get the friendship offering:
Quote
Dear Friend,
I want to welcome you to Prayer Cookbook: 222 “Golden Key” Prayers to Open Heaven’s Back Door and Bring Answers in 10 Days or Less.
If you are like me, you are a busy person and really don’t have time to waste. You don’t have time for complicated prayers that are unrealistic and, worst of all, in the long term cause you to be disillusioned… or frustrated.
This prayer plan is based on my own journey with “Golden Key” prayers and the success of my online friends.
First of all, there will be NO gifts – meaning you are not required to send donations; NO solicitations to support any cause of any kind; NO pledges or vows; NO laying on of hands; NO miracle handkerchiefs, and NO required positive confession.
Bottom line, with these prayers, there are no obligations, ever. I believe this is critical to successful praying because you’ll never need to feel guilty about not doing any of the above.
The first secret to getting answers to prayers that we’re going to use here is WHEN you pray. You see, timing is the revolutionary concept that has been kept secret for years.

AND THEN, you get the straight-talk for unbelievers section:
Quote
The Only Exceptions
I’ll be straight with you. This is a Do-It-Yourself praying program. But I’ve made it as simple as possible, to help many people.
However, there are 4 types of people these prayers may not help…
#1: Those who do not really have a good relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Why? Because they are having a love affair with “pet sins” and want to hang on to things the Bible clearly warns against.
#2: It won’t work for you if you’re searching for others to pray for you – instead of learning to pray for yourself and your loved ones.
#3: It won’t work fast enough for you if you’re too lazy, or if you can’t bear to forgo a couple of meals once in a while so that you can fast and pray.
#4: This might sound ironic, but it is a fact. These prayers won’t work for you if you’re already in love with “complex” or “over complicated” and “over-spiritual” teachings that tell you all your rewards are in eternity, so you shouldn’t expect anything good in the here and now.

Aint it fun!!???
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Mefiante
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In solidarity with rwenzori: Κοπρος φανεται


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« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2011, 15:59:09 PM »

“Successful praying” is an oxymoron — like the author, but stripped of the “oxy”…  Angel

'Luthon64
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st0nes
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mark.widdicombe1
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« Reply #2 on: March 29, 2011, 16:15:36 PM »

It's a shame about the missing meals, until I got to that part I was sold.
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GCG
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« Reply #3 on: March 29, 2011, 17:06:50 PM »

anything that gets between me and my dinner has no chance in hell
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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2011, 15:11:47 PM »

I like the way they give themself an "out". Well if it didn't work then obviously you're too indoctrinated by other religious beliefs.

Reminds me of Amway: If you didn't become a millionaire it's because you were obviously not invested enough in all this, and you are a quitter, and your obvious failure of motivation is not a reflection on our organisation.
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st0nes
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« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2011, 15:16:39 PM »

I like the way they give themself an "out". Well if it didn't work then obviously you're too indoctrinated by other religious beliefs.

Reminds me of Amway: If you didn't become a millionaire it's because you were obviously not invested enough in all this, and you are a quitter, and your obvious failure of motivation is not a reflection on our organisation.
A variation of the "true Scotsman" fallacy.  Everyone can become a millionaire if they work hard enough.  You didn't become a millionaire, therefore you didn't work hard enough.  QED.  Unfortunately, their major premise is codswallop.
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Hermes
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« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2011, 15:23:11 PM »

What’s the use of a Prayer Cookbook if you have to fast?  One would expect it to reveal celestial recipes. 
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Faerie
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« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2011, 15:56:25 PM »

What’s the use of a Prayer Cookbook if you have to fast?  One would expect it to reveal celestial recipes. 

My Mother used to tell me prayer is food for the soul...
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Hermes
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« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2011, 16:03:44 PM »

My Mother used to tell me prayer is food for the soul...
I don't want to expose my soul to the risk of obesity.
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GCG
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« Reply #9 on: March 31, 2011, 09:17:30 AM »

my soul is hairy, drunken, foul-mouthed scotsman.  does the book contain prayer haggis?
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Faerie
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« Reply #10 on: March 31, 2011, 09:22:35 AM »

  does the book contain prayer haggis?

Its all tripe to start off with.
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Mefiante
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« Reply #11 on: March 31, 2011, 09:43:29 AM »

does the book contain prayer haggis?
No, nothing that wholesome and nutritious, just lots of sickly-sweet just desserts.

'Luthon64
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GCG
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« Reply #12 on: March 31, 2011, 10:03:52 AM »

  does the book contain prayer haggis?

Its all tripe to start off with.
Grin Cheesy Grin Cheesy Grin Cheesy Grin Cheesy Grin Cheesy Grin Cheesy
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