webpage help

[GCG]

i went and got hosting from mweb,
so now i have a registered domain, and my beau tells me i shouls use wordpress. ok.
so after a few phonecalls to mweb, i realise these okes are not going to helpfull.

in order to intall wordpress, i need PHP.  ok, downloaded PHP, but have no clue how to install that.  can't find a install/setup file, and the readme files are hebrew.

help, before i throw my laptop out the window.

[GCG]

so far, i've had to download wordpress, in order to use wordpress, i need to download PHP, in order to install PHP, i need to install windows installer toolset. 
not having fun.

[st0nes]

Please tell me you're not going to try and host a PHP site on a Windows server?  Do m-web not have LAMP servers?

[GCG]

english please.

i have ftp'd my wordpress files to the database, but i dont have php, so the installation wont happen.  and i cant find how to fucking install php.  this is becoming a joke.

[benguela]

Here's my advice, you may not like it.

Cancel the mweb hosting subscription, go to wordpress.com, create an account for yourself say gcg.wordpress.com, choose a theme, from there you can create your site pages as you like. Add the free add-ons you want like say twitter feed or a flickr account if you want a picture gallery etc. All this for free.

If you want fancy stuff there are commercial add-ons.

If you really need a sexy hostname because gcg.wordpress.com isn't cool then read http://en.support.wordpress.com/domain-mapping/register-domain/, but you pay, yearly. To do all this you don't need to learn php, lamp and other such things. Get started here http://learn.wordpress.com/

The disadvantage of all this is that you are limited by what wordpress offers, but seriously, if you want that kind of control then either it's a steep learning curve as you have already experienced, or you have to pay a geek a shitload of money to do it for you, not once, but every time you want to change something.

[bluegray]

I second that advice. Especially if you have limited experience with any kind of site/server setup.

But if you still don't want to let wordpress.com host your site, you can give texo a try ( http://texo.co.za/wordpress-max/ ), they specialize in wordpress blogs with easy setup.
This site is hosted with them, and the support is excellent. I'm sure you'll at least get much further than with mweb, which for the record, sucks big time at a premium price.

[BoogieMonster]

Oy vey GCG, you've definitely bitten off more than you can chew. setting up PHP, webservers, wordpress etc. is not for the feint hearted. Agree with the above.

[GCG]

well, the wordpress is installed on my page now, with the help of the technies at mweb, they did it over the weekend, but now, i have to make myself knowledgeable about css code, since i dont find the template i like.
AND when i want to upload a custom header, it tjunes me there is a temporary folder missing.
so, me and google is going to have a loooooong day.

[GCG]

in the wordpress forums they rate i should create some temp file and i'm like what the fucking freck?  why cant anything just be simple. i mean, fucking really now.