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What's good for the goose.....

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BoogieMonster
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« Reply #15 on: August 10, 2010, 22:31:51 PM »

Like Peter says, it's all about the average. I know I'm generalising, I would've thought that's a given. Nature seems to like bell curves. Lots are in the middle, some are to the sides. (See: this) A lot of the things you say I know well gcg, I didn't mean to sound ignorant of them if I did. I grew up with a tomboy girl in the 'hood. And once again, Peter is right, men actually prefer them (well I do), to the knitting circle and cooking fraternity.

To prove the point: I also like to cook more, and do it better, than my girl. I am the one who insists the kitchen be tidy, etc. I REALLY like girls that are not the girly girly type. But then, I do count her as the exception. However, I am the one under the hood of the car or some more complicated contraption, and yes she babies me like hell if I get sick. I'm sure she's on a different part of that continuum.

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the first thing a parent says when you fall from the closet 'what did i do wrong?'


Heh, that's exactly what I fear from falling out of the atheist closet.  Smiley
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Faerie
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« Reply #16 on: August 11, 2010, 09:09:54 AM »

Men and women are NOT the same, nor do we have the same abilities to do certain things, certainly, there are women that make brilliant mechanics and electricians, same as there are men that make excellent interior decorators and child psychologists (both considered a female "trait"), but taking the genders into a wholistic view, females remain more nurturing and the males more competitive and protective. As it should be, its what makes us a unit when coming together in relationships.

GCG, I too was a tomboy of note, but in the same breath, at the end of the day after falling out of trees and taking things apart, I would wallow in my bubble bath and blow dry my hair to look pretty again - whereas my brothers could quite happily get into bed looking like grease monkeys - and therein lies the major difference, inherently, we tend to look after ourselves far better than men do, and we do the same for those who surround us and whom we love - we nurture.

My man do stuff for me, I'll get home and the hinges on the kitchen cupboards are fixed, I, in return, will pack his favourite lunch, switch on the 'lectric blanket so his bed is warm and lay out his gown.... an expression of love, in very unique ways. It doesnt mean that I cannot fix the hinges myself, or that he cannot (or wont) fix a meal for me, but he's BETTER at the hinges than I am. I am good at thinking about his comfort, and love doing it for him.


Speaking of studies - I rather enjoy watching "Child of our time" currently running on BBC knowledge, take 20 odd kids, from various background and track them growing up until they're 18, the study started in 2000 - which makes the kids 10 years old now, it shows very clearly what influence society, their parents education/background and in one case, a boy's single mother with severe physical disabilities, have on them.





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Lilli
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« Reply #17 on: August 11, 2010, 15:55:51 PM »

Men and women are NOT the same, nor do we have the same abilities to do certain things, certainly...
I agree with this statement, but having different abilities/inclinations than the next person IMO has more to do with the fact that you are different people than being gender-specific.
...females remain more nurturing and the males more competitive and protective. As it should be, its what makes us a unit when coming together in relationships.
sorry, but what if you happen to be in a same-sex relationship?
I was (am) a bit of a tomboy too, and my housemate (same age, male, straight (mostly, like me preferring opposite sex relationships) is not the typical manly-man. He's a better cook than I am. He doesn't know how the drill works, so when we moved in together, I had to put up the shelves. No problems there. I cannot agree that a person has a certain role to play just because he/she is a he/she...

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GCG
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« Reply #18 on: August 12, 2010, 09:15:22 AM »

Quote
Men and women are NOT the same, nor do we have the same abilities to do certain things, certainly...
I agree with this statement, but having different abilities/inclinations than the next person IMO has more to do with the fact that you are different people than being gender-specific.

totally,  there i agree 100%.


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...females remain more nurturing and the males more competitive and protective. As it should be, its what makes us a unit when coming together in relationships.
sorry, but what if you happen to be in a same-sex relationship?

as one gets in most gay relatioships, there tends to be a more dominant partner.  but even that is seeming to fading out.  as more ladies, and guys, in gay relationships, tend be just either a woman or a man.  not a butch woman, or a pansy man.
i think, society in general, is slowly moving towards androgony.  like a star trek scenario, where everyone wears a uniform.  the only difference betweeen genders, is one got boobies, and the other not. 
i find it disgusting, that in games like golf, cricket, etc, where your skill isnt determined by your physical strength, men and women are still seperated.  in schools, girls play netball, and boys rugby.  how many schools have girls cricket teams?
women are weakened by people expecting them to be weak, and as long as women allow this, we will be seen as the weaker sex.

allso, i want to make a comment on something i said earlier in this thread, about women being smarter.  i think the term i was looking for, is wiley.  men get their way, coz they are men.  they can either bargain with another man, coz society is still ruled by men, and the brotherhood is still very much in charge.  or if all else fails, he can physically intimidate his way in.
women, on the other hand, has had wiggle and outmaneuvre men, not by physicality, but by brains.  so women are told by their elders, to get what they want by manipulation, mind-games and sheer wit.    even the doffest bokkie wil know how to cop a tear when she wants to get her way.  unfortunate, but hell, if it works...

i have found, in the majority of my relationships, guys are all for gender equality, and chores and responseabilities being equal.  but when i end up being a better DIY person than them, and a better cook, and better gardener, and better Tekken player.... the fall off the boat.  the little niche that they occupied, i excell in.  they still want to be the provider, the man of the house, the hunter, and when i, as the weak little woman, are better at the hunting and providing than they are, then the ego falls to pieces, and a role reversal happens.
they turn into the needy, teary, pathetic, stereotyped female role, and i into the distant, unemotional hard stereotypical male role. it's very bizarre.
i think, as much as the modern man would want to be all metrosexual, and have the whole schpiel about gender equality, they still want to come home with the bread and bacon, and stand in the doorway with an puffed-out chest, and they expect the woman to be clining to their pant-leg in supplication.  and i think, that eventhough men wont admit it, they still have that fantasy, whether they know it or not.  instilled by society, by tv, by books, by parents..... its unavoidable.
just as all women still wait for their prince charming to come save them from the tower.  some women never realise that they have to slay the dragon themselves.  so they fall for the nearest thing to prince charming, and end up with a man she has all these expectations for, and they end up being just a regular guy.  so she lives with average guy, still trying to squeeze him into the prince charming box.   i can go on and on about this.  this is, obviously, something i feel very strongly about.
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